needing

I told you I didn’t like needing people. I didn’t mind when people needed me, but I work really hard at not needing anyone.

But you wanted me to need you. and I wanted so desperately to need someone and to be needed. I wanted to be normal and not in charge of fixing everyone and everything.

And now you are thinking about leaving. And we don’t know what that will mean for us. It will be more challenging than what we are doing now, we know that. you won’t be around to tell me I am pretty and to tell me you love me. you won’t be able to comfort me when I cant stop crying. will you be able to tuck me in at the end of each night?

You came here and I fell so deeply in love with you. and for once I felt normal. I felt so loved and so needed. I need your love so damn much. If you aren’t around my little world will be shattered.

And I am so scared right now. What if you decide you don’t need me and you go away?

This may just have to do with money to you; but it changes everything for us. If you decide to go away does that mean I am second in your life? Does it mean you don’t want to be with me anymore? what does it mean for our future?

I told you I didn’t like needing people, but you made me feel safe and you made it OK to need you. so why are you even thinking about leaving our comfort zone?