Wednesday, April 22, 2009

first ever tagged thingy

I was making my rounds today, checking out all of the people that have posted something new and a stumbled upon Southern Sages post. it was one of those posts were they answer questions and then tag someone. i always look at these with envy, i never get tagged. i am relatively new to this blog thingy and since i tend to be an introvert and not comment, not many people come to my blog. and that is A-OK with me.

but this morning when i got done reading (and giggling) at his answers the first person he tagged was 'Jess-X' holy cow...that looked like my name. so i clicked it. and guess where it brought me?!? MY BLOG!!! i got tagged!!! i jumped out of my seat (no i am not kidding) and freaked out. i may have squealed in delight.

Southern Sage you totally just made my day, thank you.

Eight Things I'm Looking Forward To:

1. end of this semester
2. seeing Lucas again
3. getting dressed
4. seeing a ghost
5. volunteering at the YMCA
6. a picnic sometime this week
7. new music
8. tagging people

Eight things I did yesterday..

1. did the dishes
2. woke up
3. got my fishing pole out
4. got the mail
5. went to target
6. went to a womans health expo
7. talked to Adam
8. got my hair cut

Eight things I wish I could do

1. move to a third world country
2. cure the world from pain
3. find love for the bestie
4. protect my sister
5. get my brother to be clean and sober
6. get straight A's without studying
7. sing like Christina Aguilera
8.marry Kevin Rudolf

Eight TV shows I watch

1. Grays Anatomy
2. Ellen
3. The Real World
4. American Idol (go Adam!!)
5. taking the stage
6. supernatural
7. Tough Love
8. American Dragon: Jake Long

Eight people I tag


The Bestie

Coal Miners Granddaughter

ok i know its not eight people, but thats all i can see right now that read my blog and will do it. so yea.

Monday, April 20, 2009


The song the best describes how I feel about Adam?

Taylor Swift Breathe

some of the lyrics are

'I cant Breathe without you, but I have to'
'Its two AM, feeling like I just lost a friend'

I am letting him go, I am moving on, but its so damn hard. The love that Adam and I have for each other is the love that anyone that believes in love wants. Its what everyone dreams about; but yet we cant be together.

I had a dream last night.

I was getting married. And Adam was walking me down the aisle, and I had on a really big poofy white dress, totally beautiful. And we got to the end, were the girl gets passed on to the next guy. And Adam and I just stood there staring at each other. And then we went in for a hug, and I whispered ‘it should be you’ and he said ‘I know’. When we moved apart we both had tears rolling down our cheeks. People started whispering because of how long Adam and I had been standing there.

Adam then pushed me forward and the other guy took my arm and pulled me away.

I kept looking back at Adam, and he kept looking at me. I then said ‘I’m so sorry. But this, this isn’t right’ and walked out through a side door. I then ran until I found an isolated room and cried and cried.

Adam found me and sat down (I was on the floor in a ball) and pulled me to him. We didn’t say anything and I just cried. After a couple minutes I looked at him and he had tears running down his face; I then wrapped my arms around him.

And we kissed. In the dream it was our first kiss ever. It was short, but was so full of compassion and love that it shocked me. Adam pulled away and that’s when I woke up.

I am big on symbolism. The fact that I was getting pulled to this guy, and I didn’t really want to marry his says a lot. The fact that Adam was the one walking me down the aisle and he is the one I wanted and the one that found me, wow.

I still feel very strongly about the fact Adam and I are going to end up together. I just wish the emptiness of not having him would go away.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

boys and hearts

I am sorry dear blog readers, I have been thinking everything in my head but havent really been giving you guys much attention. I had a blog all planned out about everything that was going on and how I needed to figure it out; but then as I was laying in bed last night i figured it all out. So there is nothing there to report on.

I got my moms mothers day present today, and then gave it to her. I have a hard time waiting.

Do any of you have days where you are sort of sad and gloomy for no reason? I feel like that today. I have no idea why. I am really happy, but I just feel sad.

So.. want me to talk about guys really quick?

Newbie and I are friends, he has to figure stuff out about him before he is ready for a relationship, and I want to be someone he can count on.

Adam and I are still friends.. totally awesome and I have decided that if he ever wants to get back with me he will have to woo me.

Then there is this new guy.. he will be joining the marines in 2011 so I will call him Mr.Marine. he loves me, like, he is very much in love with me and I love that he feels that way. and he is much different than Adam. He tells me how he feels and there is great communication and everything..and I do love him but I think he loves me more. Is that fair to him? and he just got out of a relationship (like 2 days ago) (lets not get into how I was talking to him while he had a girlfriend…) and so its hard. I am afraid I will hurt him even more than he has been hurt already.

But I have decided that if things with him continue and I am happy with him, and he is happy with me I should take the chance if it comes up. because he is a really great guy and he is all caring and thoughtful and real. So yea. Mr.Marine is the new guy that I want..we shall see if it works out.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


9 sock mates on the bed...

13 unmated socks on the desk...

and people wonder why i dont like doing laundry.

had a great birthday. the Bestie and my friends did an awesome job at making it special.
i love them all.

and thank you to those that gave birthday wishes. totally awesome of you.


Sunday, April 5, 2009


its my birthday.. i turn 20 today. its crazy how young i am, i feel much older some days. and then other days i look back and see how little i have accomplished, and how much more growing i will do, and i am glad that i am still young.

the bestie wrote a post about me, so i thought i would give you a link to that so you can read about how great i am.

here is the link