Tuesday, November 3, 2009

pass me the bottle

Sometimes I wish I was a drinker. That way when everything gets tough and hard to deal with, I can just drown my sorrows in a bottle of whatever I feel like having.

After this semester I don’t think I will be going back to school. I just do not feel like it is the right place for me at this moment. I will do the full time job thing, and then once I figure some stuff out I will go back. Because I want a degree and I want to better myself, but I just feel like right now is not the time for school. I have always been in school (sort of) and I just feel like I want to explore other things right now and go back to that.

I wish I could bottle my love and give it away like that, I have so much of it, I just don’t know what to do with it all. I feel like if I don’t do anything with it I will waste it. So, I just make sure to treat my friends well and give them as much as they will accept without it scaring them.

I have to update my blog roll thingy, a lot of those blogs don’t exist anymore, and one or two I don’t read. And there are tons I read that are not up there yet.

I think with my age and what I feel and how I am doing things, I am on track pretty well. Even if I get told I have an old soul.

It is okay that I don’t know what I want to do ahead of time for more than two hours, right?

2 comments:

  1. oh dear sweet jessica.

    your beginning of your blog made me oh so sad. don't think like that lady. i mean sure somedays i think that too, but it really doesn't help or solve anything, or at least not for long

    i am here for ya sister. i love you!

    and for the school thing i get it, i understand it. it's your life and you'll live it the way you want to. ppl may not always approve. but so what. sometimes i just wnat to work and do my own thing and not have to worry about school. i don't feel it's really what i want at this moment. it's hard to explain i guess. sigh..

    and overall good blog.

    later

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  2. I too used to think to start drinking. I thought it would help me get out of problems. But I've researched about it and found out that drinking just make you lose your senses which is a temporary feeling of no problems. But when you gain your senses back, you are in the same situation, even worse as you lost some more time.

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