not knowing

The boyfriend and I are going through some troubled times, I do not know if he wants me anymore. My heart is breaking with every second I do not hear from him. with every second that I do not know what he wants.

I know what I want.

I want his arms around me, the safety of knowing he is there for me (oh god I am starting to cry).

I got out of the house, made sure to get away from the computer so I could get my mind off of him, it did not work too well.

I went to barns and noble and headed to the teen section, and of course they are all about the perfect boy and finding him and heartbreak. Like the story was written for me. I had to leave before I started crying.

I am a strong person, I am not a crier, so why can I not stop these tears? I mean he hasn’t even broken up with me yet. And he may not.

He may just need some space.

I just don’t know, and the not knowing is what hurts so bad.