Tuesday, October 20, 2009

love is a choice

You do not get to decide of your heart breaks or not. You cannot control someone else. Once you are in love you do not get a choice, once you are in love you do not get to decide that you want out of it. You can’t wake up one day and be like ‘today I will not love him’. It just does not work that way. When someone decides they do not want to be with someone, or that it simply is not working out, they go through heartbreak. There are tears and lots and lots of words and the most horrible pain that someone can experience. It then takes time, of not talking to that person and getting over them to stop feeling that love for someone.

And even then you are still in love with them, but the time apart and the not talking about them or two them allows your heart to sort of go into hibernation and forget about what you felt for that person. If you love someone, if you truly love someone, I do not think you ever stop loving them. The love may change, but it is still love.

I believe you can decide who you want to love, and who you decide to fall for. You have to want it, you have to want the love, and you have to want that person. If you really do not want to fall for someone, you won’t. You never hear about people that are not attractive to each other starting out as friends and then becoming lovers, because they do not find each other interesting in a romantic way, therefore they will not fall for each other. If someone is your friend and you are interested in them romantically, and you allow yourself to fall, you will. It is as simple as that. So when people say ‘you can’t help who you fall for’ I believe they are wrong.

In order to fall in love with someone, you have to want to be in love with them, you have to want them as more than a friend. It is as simple as that.

But once you are in love, once you have allowed yourself to fall, you do not get to decide if you want to stay in love with them or not. Because you are in love, you are now stuck loving them, if you want to or not. When people break up with each other it is so hard because their heart is breaking, and it is hard, but they have decided they no longer want to be with that person. I do not think it has anything to do with not wanting to love that person. I believe that once you love someone you will always love them.

When you break up with someone there is the heartbreak and the pain and the tears and the sleepless nights because it hurts so much because you are trying not to love them. That is what you are doing, and that my friends, is impossible. Once you are in love you do not get a choice. You had a choice whether or not you wanted to get to that point, but once there, that is it.

And I believe once you are in that Love place, you will always be there, it may be a different kind of love, but it will still be there. It takes time to get over someone because it is not you really ‘getting over them’ but really, it is you trying to forget about your love for them. Over time, you forget about how you feel when talking to them, how amazing they make you feel. Your heart hibernates the love for them.

When you see that person again you will remember that love, it may have turned into a different love, but whenever a person runs into an ex it is hard because they still love them.

So in conclusion:
You can help who you fall for, but once you have fallen and are in love, you do not get the choice of falling out of love.

*note: upon reading this I see i repeated myself like crazy, and if I edit and take the time to not repeat myself, it would only be a couple sentences long. But, it is late, and I am tired. so instead of editing it, I am going to bed. Night.


  1. I agree, except that ex thing...don't even wanna imagine that...