Saturday, January 30, 2010

not answering the phone

I don’t want to be the call you make because it is habit. I don’t want you to call and tell me about your day because you feel that is what happens after work. I want to be in your day, and I want you to talk to me because you want to do it. Because you enjoy talking to me. Because I mean that much to you, that you have to call me every day and hear about my day.

And I don’t want to answer the phone and here you talk the entire time. I may not be a talker, but I have things to say as well. And if you care about me, and if you are calling because you care about what I have to say and not to hear yourself talk, it wouldn’t be a problem.

I deserve more respect than you are willing to give me. I DESERVE more than you are giving me. You are giving me nothing. I keep giving to you, I give you my attention, I give you someone that you can talk to, and I give you everything I can give. And you take it, selfishly.

You never give anything to me. You never make sure to tell me how beautiful I am or how much I mean to you.

I cannot have a relationship with someone when they treat me the way you have.

Awhile ago I would have thought otherwise. I would have thought that I needing these things would be me being needy, and I would have ignored the feel that tells me I need to stick up for myself.

You need to realize that I am not being dramatic or needy or bugging you. You need to realize I am being realistic. I am not going to give someone the best that I can give unless they are willing to give me the best of themselves.

And I know the best of you. I know how sweet you can be. I know that you can give me what I would like. Right now you are so lost in yourself that you cannot give me what I need.

You need to figure out that you are lucky you get my attention, it is not I who is lucky when you call me.

You need to figure out how important I am, and how amazing of a person I am.

Because right now, you haven’t figured that out; you think you are the prize, when really, I am.

Until you figure this out, I don’t think I will be picking up your calls.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I have to admit your first para is exactly the way I always feel. I alwyas thought I'm the only "abnormal" person to feel this, but now that you feel it too, I'm much happy. Thanks! :)