I do well with a pattern, with a schedule. I like knowing what I will be doing next week at this time. I like knowing when I will be free to sleep in, when I can take a nap, when I will have time to dance around my room. I like that.
I like knowing when others are going to be free so I can catch up with them. when they will be away so I shouldn’t text them. I like knowing when I will see them next.
I need everything set. I need that consistency.
When I do not get that, I feel lost.
Right now work keeps changing my schedule. Working days sometimes, nights other times. It is driving me crazy. it is messing with when I get to talk to people, when I can stay up late. It is messing with my showering schedule.
And then other peoples schedules are changing as well, and so I don’t know those either. I don’t know when I will get to talk to people next or when I should text them or not.
I just don’t know.
And I am really chill, and it just is what it is, but at the end of the day when I am trying to relax I cannot turn off my brain. Because I don’t have a schedule. Because I don’t know what I will be doing in 24 hours.
I love the holidays, but I am ready for my normal schedule to be back.