You know, they always say your first time is the most nerve wrecking, and it almost always gets better after that.
I found that out last night.
Gord was in the shower and I hurried and changed into my pajamas (hey I didn’t want him walking in on me standing there in the nude and he would be all soapy. Not my kind of story) and got into bed. once in bed, I began to freak out. I have never ever in my entire 21 and ½ years shared a bed with a man, or a boyfriend. And I was freaking out. And I didn’t know if he liked me or not, and I wasn’t sure how it would go. And so I freaked out.
When he got out of the shower he found me sitting in bed wrapped in the blankets, not ready to go to bed. he said he was tired, and leaned over to turn off his light. I turned mine off as well; and the darkness filled the room.
And let me just tell you, I felt instantly better. The next thing I know he tells me ‘lets cuddle love’ and his arm is being wrapped around me, and I am continuing to freak out.
And I am not moving. And stiff. And making sure oh my god don’t move because then he will get interrupted and he may not like that.
And then he told me I could move.
And I started to calm down. And I felt him kiss my forehead. And his arms were wrapped around me, and it felt amazing. And perfect.
And I loved every minute of it.
And I really mean, I loved every minute of it. because it was super hot in the room (probably because I was nice and set the temp to 80 degrees before we went to bed) and with me getting all frisky with his hand being on my lower back for a little while. I did not get any sleep.
But him not getting any sleep made me feel better.
And tonight, I am not nervous. And you best believe his arm better be around me again. because that is the only way I want to sleep.