Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I am a terrorist.

I don’t think my mother loves me, I think she just wants me to leave. And to not return.

I have a theory: my mother sees me as a terrorist

Terrorists: bring new ideas
I: bring new ideas

Terrorists: have different hobbies than those around them (unless they are surrounded by other terrorists)
I: enjoy things that neither my parents nor my siblings enjoy

Terrorists: people find them unpleasant to be around
I: am found by my mother, to be unpleasant to be around

Terrorists: are never invited to anything
I: am also excluded from things my sister and mother go to

Terrorists: are not talked to. We simply tell them how much we dislike them, and see them as wrong
I: am also not conversed with, but my mother makes sure to tell me that I cannot do anything right, and that she does not like anything I do

Terrorists: practice and practice to try and do everything perfectly, so that nothing can go wrong, but something always seems to go wrong
I: no matter how hard I try to be perfect for my mother, I seem to always get something wrong

Terrorists: we talk about their failures, we make sure to tell everyone that will listen how they screwed up
I: am talked about when I do something wrong. My mother makes her rounds on the phone to inform everyone about what I have done.

Terrorists: we find fault in everything they say
I: always say something wrong according to my mother

Terrorists: have extreme views, that are much different from our own
I: have very strong views that are much different than my mothers

Terrorists: we want them far away from us
I: am not wanted around my mother

I think the proof speaks for itself. I am a terrorist in my mothers’ life. Too bad I am not willing to go and hijack a plane just yet.

1 comment:

  1. you can't be a terrorist unless you vote Democrat or blow yourself up!
    those are the two tell tale signs right there!