The desktop background on my computer is a picture of Lucas (my nephew) and the side of my head. That picture was taken last year around new years. He has a rash around his mouth because he was teething and we couldn’t get the drool to stop.
I am looking at him. And he is looking at the camera, I am sure he got sick of seeing that thing.
I wish I could look at him now. In real life. I wish I could hear his laugh and calm him when he cries.
I miss him so much.
When his mom visits Minnesota he gets to stay at our house, and I loved it. I wake up in the morning and see him. I hold him and love him and let him sleep on me. When his mom took him so he could go with her to Texas, I put him in his car seat, and kissed him and told him I loved him.
When she walked up the steps, I stayed and Lucas stretched his arms out, as if he wanted me to go with him. His eyes looked like he wanted me to hold him, just one last time.
I don’t mind when he is cranky and has to be entertained all the time, I was the one that found he loved looking in the mirror.
When he was cranky we had to hold him and wiggle him and keep him busy at all times, and since he was teething, it got rather challenging. But it was worth it. I would take him cranky any day.
I loved when I would rock him to sleep; he is just like me in that way. He wiggles and moves and switches positions and then just crashes. I like knowing him and I share that trait.
I want the little guy in my arms, he makes me feel complete. I just want to love him.