Thursday, November 12, 2009

well, here goes

When I was in 10th grade I was diagnosed with depression, meaning the chemicals in the brain are not balanced correctly and cause me to be sad, have no motivation, become socially withdrawn, get bad grades, and a bunch of other things.

When we went to the doctor he prescribed the lowest dose of antidepressants, and told me to take half a pill a day. These pills made it so I couldn’t feel anything. I hated it, so I stopped taking them. Somehow I got better, and went on my way.

When we went to the doctor, he informed me it will more than likely come and go throughout my life. Well, it is back.

I am trying my hardest to sort of ignore it and hope it goes away, but that is really not working. I have known for some time now, but it is now getting to the point that it is getting hard to go out at all and be social.

I am having a hard time finding the motivation to study for class, or work on my cupcake site (thus it is still not up and running).

I am trying my hardest to go out, and do something productive each day, it is just hard.

(Crap starting to cry)

Last time, back in 10th grade no one noticed the differences. But this time around, people already have. I know that I have a lot of support from many different people. And I know I will get through this, it will just take time.

Doing all the silly little things I do, is my way of making sure I am happy. So when I make dinosaur noises, or color in a coloring book, that is my way of being happy.

And I am trying really hard to be happy.

Blogging helps a lot, because it allows me to express how I am feeling. It also helps that I have such an amazing support system of friends.

So thank you to all that have noticed. There is no need to worry, but I do appreciate you noticing and making time for me. Even if I am sort of a burden right now.


  1. Well girl put it out there, isn't acknowledgement the beginning of the cure (or somthing like that?)?

  2. Yeah blogging helps me feel better too. But you express your feelings about life, which I avoid posting I just feel good cause I've passed some time which I would have spent thinking & being

  3. Oh and as you'd have noticed, I love posting comments too :D