Tuesday, November 3, 2009

pass me the bottle

Sometimes I wish I was a drinker. That way when everything gets tough and hard to deal with, I can just drown my sorrows in a bottle of whatever I feel like having.

After this semester I don’t think I will be going back to school. I just do not feel like it is the right place for me at this moment. I will do the full time job thing, and then once I figure some stuff out I will go back. Because I want a degree and I want to better myself, but I just feel like right now is not the time for school. I have always been in school (sort of) and I just feel like I want to explore other things right now and go back to that.

I wish I could bottle my love and give it away like that, I have so much of it, I just don’t know what to do with it all. I feel like if I don’t do anything with it I will waste it. So, I just make sure to treat my friends well and give them as much as they will accept without it scaring them.

I have to update my blog roll thingy, a lot of those blogs don’t exist anymore, and one or two I don’t read. And there are tons I read that are not up there yet.

I think with my age and what I feel and how I am doing things, I am on track pretty well. Even if I get told I have an old soul.

It is okay that I don’t know what I want to do ahead of time for more than two hours, right?


  1. oh dear sweet jessica.

    your beginning of your blog made me oh so sad. don't think like that lady. i mean sure somedays i think that too, but it really doesn't help or solve anything, or at least not for long

    i am here for ya sister. i love you!

    and for the school thing i get it, i understand it. it's your life and you'll live it the way you want to. ppl may not always approve. but so what. sometimes i just wnat to work and do my own thing and not have to worry about school. i don't feel it's really what i want at this moment. it's hard to explain i guess. sigh..

    and overall good blog.


  2. I too used to think to start drinking. I thought it would help me get out of problems. But I've researched about it and found out that drinking just make you lose your senses which is a temporary feeling of no problems. But when you gain your senses back, you are in the same situation, even worse as you lost some more time.