Saturday, September 12, 2009

My family is CRAZY!

I think twelve days is long enough to make you wait for an update about what is going on.

My family is crazy and I need to get away. As soon as possible.

They are pretending my dad never said any of that stuff, acted in that way. My brother, mom and I were talking and my brother asked her if my father was serious about what he said. She said she doesn’t know, but she has to take care of herself and Jennifer. So, as of now, no one knows if my father is going to leave or not. All we know is that he is acting as if it never happened. He has also decided that after the winter (remember I live in Minnesota, they are pretty horrible here) he will go back to trucking. CRAZY. This drama and stress is not good for anyone. I have decided that I need to really look out for what is best for me (go me!) and move out as soon as possible to escape the drama and stress of this family. I know moving out will be stressful and VERY challenging, but it is what is best for me.

I think I will get another part time job. So that way I will be working about 45ish hours a week and I should be able to afford to move out. I have gone on an interview, and I really hope I got the job.That will give me enough flexibility to continue with school part time. It may take longer to finish school, but that is okay.

My mom and sister seem to be fine; they have also decided to pretend none of the D stuff happened.

Do you guys remember Adam? He and I talk every day. And it’s a complicated relationship dynamic, he wants me and I want him but he can’t be in a relationship. He thinks he can’t give me what I need or what I deserve. So he won’t allow us to be in a relationship together. If I had it my way I would be in Michigan with him right now. But that is okay. I think over time I will be able to convince him that I know what I want, and that is him.

I don’t really talk to any of the other guys. That phase of me going from guy to guy was horrible, and I believe that was me on the rebound and looking for someone to replace Adam ASAP. I know no one will ever be able to do that though.

Adam also understands me in a way that no one else ever has. Whenever something happens I know that he will make me feel better. I know he will lift my spirits and when him and I talk for those couple of hours at least, he will make me feel like the most amazing person in the world and I will forget everything that is going on.

I hope he hurries in trying to do what is best for me, and just allows me to get what I want.

If it were not for Adam, I don’t think I would be as strong as I am.

P.S thank you Sage for linking me, it really meant a lot. And for those that commented with advice and letting me know my family is in your thoughts and prays, that really means a lot. I love the blogger community and how we (well mostly you guys) are there for everyone, even strangers. It really means a lot. Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Don't push the deal with Adam. Let it happen. Like I said before sometimes things happen between husband and wife that kids (no matter how old they are) don't understand. Try not to worry about that.