Monday, April 20, 2009


The song the best describes how I feel about Adam?

Taylor Swift Breathe

some of the lyrics are

'I cant Breathe without you, but I have to'
'Its two AM, feeling like I just lost a friend'

I am letting him go, I am moving on, but its so damn hard. The love that Adam and I have for each other is the love that anyone that believes in love wants. Its what everyone dreams about; but yet we cant be together.

I had a dream last night.

I was getting married. And Adam was walking me down the aisle, and I had on a really big poofy white dress, totally beautiful. And we got to the end, were the girl gets passed on to the next guy. And Adam and I just stood there staring at each other. And then we went in for a hug, and I whispered ‘it should be you’ and he said ‘I know’. When we moved apart we both had tears rolling down our cheeks. People started whispering because of how long Adam and I had been standing there.

Adam then pushed me forward and the other guy took my arm and pulled me away.

I kept looking back at Adam, and he kept looking at me. I then said ‘I’m so sorry. But this, this isn’t right’ and walked out through a side door. I then ran until I found an isolated room and cried and cried.

Adam found me and sat down (I was on the floor in a ball) and pulled me to him. We didn’t say anything and I just cried. After a couple minutes I looked at him and he had tears running down his face; I then wrapped my arms around him.

And we kissed. In the dream it was our first kiss ever. It was short, but was so full of compassion and love that it shocked me. Adam pulled away and that’s when I woke up.

I am big on symbolism. The fact that I was getting pulled to this guy, and I didn’t really want to marry his says a lot. The fact that Adam was the one walking me down the aisle and he is the one I wanted and the one that found me, wow.

I still feel very strongly about the fact Adam and I are going to end up together. I just wish the emptiness of not having him would go away.


  1. If you feel that strongly about him then I'm sure you will be together. :)

  2. it will work out for the best.
    It usually does.